A family of vampires too nice to scare anyone tries to fake it with ridiculous homemade contraptions. Every invention fails in the exact same way, every time, and somehow that never stops being funny. Sue wants to stay human and date a boy, Papa wants to save the family honor, and neither of them will get what they think they want, but they'll keep trying anyway because that's what happens in a house where nobody can actually be evil.

Papa's family of vegetarian vampires has been cast out from Monsterland for a pretty embarrassing reason: they can't scare anyone. To lift the exile, Papa must terrify one thousand humans, and he turns to his considerable talent for building new inventions to do it. There's just one problem: every scheme he tries ends in failure. Things get messier when his daughter Sue falls for a young human boy and decides she would rather not go back to Monsterland at all. The result is a fantasy comedy about a vampire father's repeated attempts to bring his family home.